My Losing Short Stories

Originally published: September 16. 2011

From the Washington Post

Style Invitational

Week 933

“... in which we asked ... for 56-word humorous stories. We had a hunch that this one would be difficult. It clearly was.”

 Not even an honorable mention, but hey, it was an honor just to submit. 

Here are my losing entries:

Closer Than They Appear

Pit stains belie false bravado while Teenager angles semi-recumbent, hands clutching the requisite three and nine, mocking blinker still tick-ticking - like it’s relevant, man. iPod shuffles obliviously. Eyes close, breath escapes like steam as the amputated side mirror bounces, gutter-bound. Lectures will have to wait. It’s fine, kid, I’ll crawl out on your side. 

Dog Daze

Her belly rumbles sweetly as yellow eyes stare into mine, pondering perhaps man’s hubris, his harsh footprints upon mother earth, his selfishness. Her tags jingle, harmoniously discordant as fleas sup and bacteria renders her breath otherworldly. Sandwich crumbs fall, snow-like, upon her upturned face, her expression begging the question, “Are you going to finish that?”